50+ Dad Jokes That Will Make You Cringe

Dad Jokes

Everyone loves a dad joke! There’s just something about that cringe-worthy sense of humor that gets even the grumpiest of us rolling on the floor laughing.

What Is a Dad Joke?

Dad jokes are a funny type of joke that you might hear from your dad or grandpa. They typically make fun of the speaker and are usually not very clever. Dad jokes are cringe-worthy jokes that are usually composed of puns and roll-your-eyes humor. They’re notorious for being so painfully bad, you can’t help but laugh. They’re traditionally made up of jokes relating to being a dad, a parent, or a husband but there really is no limitation with the cringiness!

The humor in these jokes is often based on wordplay or double entendres, which makes them especially hilarious to kids because they don’t always get it! Dad jokes can be found anywhere – TV shows like Everybody Loves Raymond and movies like Home Alone 2.

But there’s no need to go searching for them when we’ve got so many here for you!

Just to clarify, here are some examples:

  • What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
  • Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.
  • Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine.

Why Do People Find Dad Jokes Funny?

Dad jokes are often known as corny, cheesy, and lame. But that doesn’t stop people from laughing at them.

What makes these jokes so funny is the fact that they’re typically said by a dad or grandpa – someone who’s stereotypically not very clever or witty. And it’s usually because of wordplay and double entendre.

100+ Best Dad Jokes

One-Liner Dad Jokes

One-liners are your standard Dad joke because they’re just so easy to make!

  1. I like telling Dad jokes. Sometimes he laughs!
  2. Camping is in tents (sounds like intense)!
  3. I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know.
  4. What did the grape say when he was pushed? Nothing, because grapes can’t talk.
  5. Why is it hard to find a four-leaf clover? Because they’re all in someone’s front yard!
  6. Knock knock…Who’s there? I don’t know.
  7. I tried to eat a clock yesterday but it was very time-consuming.
  8. A woman walked into a bar, and lost the limbo contest.
  9. I love dad jokes, but I don’t have kids, which makes me a Faux Pa.
  10. Whenever I take my dog to the park with the nice pond, the ducks try to bite him. I suppose that’s what I get for buying a purebred dog.

  11. Your mother is mad at me and I don’t know why! She asked me to sync her phone, so I threw it in the bath.
  12. I don’t know about you but I’m friends with pretty much all of the letters of the alphabet. I just don’t know Y.
  13. I always used to hate facial hair, but then it started to grow on me.
  14. Have you looked outside? It’s started raining cats and dogs, make sure not to step in a poodle.
  15. My baby won’t nap. You could say he’s guilty of resisting a rest.
  16. Everyone thought the wedding was so beautiful, even the cake was in tiers.
  17. I love telling Dad jokes. Sometimes, he even laughs.
  18. Can you believe I got fired from the calendar factory? I only took a day off!
  19. You know, they say money talks. I don’t like that mine is always saying goodbye though.
  20. People tend to be shocked when they find out how awful an electrician I am.
  21. Have you heard about the girl that had her left side amputated? She’s all right now though.
  22. I really appreciate you explaining the word “many” earlier, it means a lot.
  23. I don’t like Russian dolls, they’re all full of themselves.
  24. It’s impossible to explain a pun to a kleptomaniac, isn’t it? I tried but he kept taking it literally.
  25. I don’t believe anyone who tells me they do yoga daily – it sounds like a bit of a stretch if you ask me.
  26. I asked a banker to check my balance this morning and she pushed me!
  27. My Mom used to tell me I could be anyone I wanted to be. You’d think she would have mentioned identity theft is a crime.
  28. I heard there were a bunch of break-ins over at the car park. I think that’s bad on so many levels.
  29. It takes a whole lot of balls to play golf like I do.
  30. Never trust atoms; they make up everything.
  31. You know, my therapist told me yesterday I have a preoccupation for revenge. I told her that we’d see about that.
  32. What’s cheese that isn’t yours? A: Nacho cheese!
  33. Do you know what they call a fish with no eye? A: A fsh.
  34. Do you know why Peter Pan is always seen flying? A: Because he Neverlands.
  35. Hey, why do you think the broom went to bed? A: It was very sweepy.
  36. What would you call an illegally parked? A: Toad.
  37. You want to know why I’m afraid of the calendar? A: Because it’s days were numbered.
  38. How come astronomers don’t like Orion’s Belt A: It’s a huge waist of space.
  39. Guess what the officer said to her belly-button? A: You’re under a vest.
  40. Why don’t crabs donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
  41. Why do you think you never see whales hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.
  42. How come grass is so dangerous? Because it’s full of blades.
  43. Did you hear? The police arrested a glass of water today because it was wanted in three different states: Solid, liquid, and gas.
  44. Why do melons have traditional weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
  45. What sounds like a parrot and is orange? A carrot.
  46. Awful news today – a photography was instantly killed after a giant lump of cheddar squashed him. Apparently the people having their photo taken were trying to warn him.
  47. Do I like making puns about the courthouse? Guilty.
  48. Do you know how to steal a coat? You jacket.
  49. Have you ever wondered why pumpkins sit on porches? Well, it’s because they can’t knock on the door.
  50. Do you know what the least spoken language in the world is? Sign language.
  51. Apparently, Arnold Schwarznegger is doing a new movie about classical music! He’ll be Back.
  52. What do runners eat before a race? Nothing, they fast!
  53. What do you call a mac ‘n’ cheese that is always getting all up in your space? A bit too close to be called comfort food!
  54. Have you heared about the new diner on the moon? It’s got fantastic food but no atmosphere!

Two Horses

A man buys two horses but he is just never able to tell them apart. He can never remember which one he’s fed or which one has been out and it just generally causes him a lot of problems and stress.

He tries tirelessly to try and tell them apart. But how?

They both have brown eyes so that’s useless.

They’re both 10 years old so that’s no help either!

He measures them and they’re both 5.5 feet tall so he can’t tell them apart by height.

He makes them race each other and they’re miraculously just as fast as each other.

They even eat as much as each other!

At one point, he tries to cut off one of their tails but it’s no use as it grows back instantly! The same thing happens with the other horse’s mane.

Stuck on what to do, the man goes to the pub to share a pint with a friend. A couple of drinks in, the man turns to his friend and says “Mate, I really don’t know what to do. I can’t tell these two horses apart for the life of me!”

“Well have you measured them?”


“Have you raced them?”


The list goes on and on.

Eventually, the friend asks “have you counted their teeth?”


The man rushes home and is straight to work.

He counts the first horse’s teeth. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5…37, 38, 39, 40!

He counts the second horse’s teeth. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5…37, 38, 39!

So now he knows that the white horse has 40 teeth and the black horse has 39 teeth!


How to Tell if You’re a Good Joke Teller or Not?

The jokester’s ability to make people laugh is really a talent that can’t be taught.

But, it does take practice and dedication. If you want to try your hand at being funny, think about what makes those around you chuckle or how they react when something is said in jest. These are the types of observations that will help you get a sense of what people find funny.

For instance, if it’s not you who laughs at something or the other person doesn’t react in any way, then maybe that joke isn’t going to work on anyone else either.

And keep in mind that your own family might be too close to tell what jokes they think are funny. You might have to get a sense of what other people think is funny in order for the joke to be good enough for them too.

What Is the Difference Between a Dad Joke and a Mom Joke?

Dad jokes are often puns and wordplay while mom jokes tend to be more about kids or parenting. Dad jokes make fun of themselves, their wives/husbands, family members, friends, and colleagues in a way that’s self-deprecating and comical at the same time.

Mom jokes usually poke fun at others who might not be as adept at parenting or being a wife/husband. Additionally, mom jokes are usually offensive and are intended as a way for kids to make fun of other kids’ moms. Oftentimes these jokes begin with “Your momma is”

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