Parenting is believed to be the best, most rewarding, and most joyous experience. While this is true, not everyone is equipped to take on this great responsibility. Here are 12 clear signs one shouldn’t be a parent.
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To Save a Relationship
Having a baby is the worst possible way of saving a relationship. It only “exacerbates the bad things.”
One poster says, “If you weren’t getting along before, you sure aren’t going to get along better on half as much sleep and quadruple the stress.”
If You Can’t Look After Yourself First
You shouldn’t be a parent if you can barely care for yourself. And by taking care of yourself, we mean your finances and emotional state are in disarray.
One commentator recommends a plan for undecided parents-to-be, “Get a goldfish. If you can’t care for a goldfish, you can’t take care of a kid.”
View Kids as a Mold That You Can Shape
Also, if you view kids are people “you can shape, alter, and control, pinning all your failed aspirations and ambitions on them, forcing them to be something they are not,” the parenting role does not suit you.
A parent should be a “guide, motivator, and a pillar of support to help kids discover and forge their own identity and love them even more because of it.”
You Aren’t 100% Sure That You Want Kids
It is impossible to be a good parent when you don’t want kids, so don’t bring them into this world.
You Really Enjoy Your “Me Time”
Do you enjoy your alone time and have a low tolerance for “stupid stuff?” Well, pause the decision to have kids because they eat away all your “me time” and endlessly get on your nerves.
You Think Kids Are Retirement Plans
Also, do not have kids if you consider using them as a retirement plan. “There’s no guarantee your kids will want to take care of you at the end or even be able to,” points out a poster.
You Had a Traumatic Childhood
Pause and think about all adults who’ve had a traumatic childhood. In most cases, their parents did not intend to raise them in such environments, but it happened anyway because of generational trauma.
So, if you had a tough childhood, try therapy to learn, re-learn, and unlearn before becoming a parent. You do not want your child triggering your childhood trauma, only for you to dump it on them.
You Can Barely Keep Yourself Happy
Another sign you shouldn’t be a parent is “if you have mental issues and can barely keep yourself happy.”
A commentator cautions, “Don’t have a kid because you think it’ll fix your depression. Also, your kid is not your therapist, and stop saying stuff like, ‘My kid is the only reason I’m alive.’ That’s a massive burden to put on a child.”
You Are Not in Your Late 20s Yet
Why rush into parenthood when you are barely 20 years old? “The early 20s are way too early to get hitched. It’s like only a fifth of your life,” shares a user.
If you are abusive or have an abusive partner, bringing a child into that toxic environment is terrible.
You Are Not Yet Stable Enough
Additionally, if you are not financially stable, postpone the urgency to have a baby. “And if you are (financially stable), prepare to no longer be,” writes a commentator.
If You Care Too Much About Getting One Gender of Child
Lastly, if you don’t love kids unconditionally and prefer one gender over the other, you shouldn’t be a parent.
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