Relationships are not 100% perfect, but that doesn’t mean you should tolerate your partner’s narcissistic personality, anger issues, and gaslighting. Before you get in too deep, here are 12 early signs you are in a toxic relationship.
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Nothings Is Ever Their Fault
It’s never great when your partner always pins the blame on you, “and you have to be the one to apologize every time.”
One user recalls how their ex did this, “After I found out she cheated on me, she tried to explain to me how it was my fault because my family didn’t like her that much. That last straw made me dump her and cut all contact.”
Get Mad at You for Expressing Your Discomfort
It is also a red flag when your partner gets mad at you for pointing out their actions that hurt you. Or they do the action again because “they don’t see anything wrong.”
You Can’t Speak About Your Problems
The relationship is also unhealthy if you can’t “speak about your problems since they will take it personally or won’t bother listening,” or they will use your insecurities against you. And then they will later “complain that you sit on things instead of getting them out in the open, then you tell them what’s bothering you, and the cycle starts again.”
You’re Spending All Your Time Dealing With Their Issues
Forget the soap operas that romanticize this sign as being a supportive partner. The reality is that this is mentally and emotionally draining, stealing the time you need to deal with your issues.
Trying to Alienate You From Your Friends
Another warning sign that you are in a bad relationship is when your partner slowly isolates you from your circle of friends. They do this to make it easier for you to lose yourself and slip into co-dependency.
Subtly Insulting You for Their Own Pleasure
“Gentle teasing now and then is fine when it’s mutual. But when the jokes are always at one party’s expense – especially in front of other people, designed to belittle them – that’s a red flag,” says a user.
It’s worse “when the jokes are about something they know you’re struggling with and actively trying to change.”
They’re Emotional When You Do Leisurely Things Without Them
Your partner should not get mad when you do your hobbies alone or with friends. Although “you’re together, you still have your own interests.”
When They Constantly Call All Their Exes Crazy
“If they talk about their exes too much” or call them all crazy, that’s another sign. “Not all of your exes are necessarily bad people” because relationships fail for decent people. So if someone claims all their exes were crazy, they either have poor judgment or are horrible.
Make Petty Things Into a Huge Dispute
You might also be in a toxic relationship if you always argue about petty things and if the fights only stop “when they want something from you.”
Lovebombing and Gaslighting
“Lovebombing is a classic emotional abuse tactic, and the abuser often goes hard into it early into the relationship. That way, you get attached quickly and form a positive perception of this person so that when the abuse starts, you don’t leave because you know they’re ‘good’ underneath and can weaponize it against you as a guilt trip,” mentions a post.
And once the gaslighting starts, “it never ends.”
Feeling Tense Whenever You Are Around Them
Another warning sign you should look out for is how your body responds when you are around them. “When you’re supposed to be close with someone, you shouldn’t feel like you’re walking on eggshells all the time,” points out a poster.
Moving Too Quickly
Consider it a red flag if your partner “pressures you into a relationship, living together, having children, etc., moving too fast and not taking no for an answer.”
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