14 Clever Clap Backs That Will Leave Your Critic Speechless

January 11, 2024

It feels terrible to have nothing good to say when people insult you. Instead of resulting in low-quality responses like cursing, try using these 14 witty retorts. It will be satisfying to see your critic dumbstruck.

Table of Contents

You Have Your Entire Life to Be an Idiot. Why Not Take Today Off?

Man Saying Stop — Image Credit: Shutterstock.

I bet you laughed after reading this line. What would be your comeback if this insult was directed at you? One commentator says, “If someone said that to me, I would be in shambles.”

You Are a Raisin in My Chocolate Chip Cookie

Homemade Organic Oatmeal Cookies With Raisins And Apricots With Baking — Source: Shutterstock

“My guy called you old and a nuisance in one sentence,” explains a user. Another user adds that the guy was called a disappointment, the same way it would be disappointing to find a raisin in a chocolate chip cookie.

If She Were a Spice, She’d Be Flour

The Girl With A Wreath Of Beige Roses On Her — Source: Shutterstock

Another creative insult derived from Bob’s Burger’s comedy clip is ‘if she were a spice, she’d be flour.’ Well, flour isn’t a spice, right?

I Envy People Who Don’t Know You

Woman With Folded Hands — Image Credit: Shutterstock.

This insult has an ‘Ouch’ feeling attached to it.

Were You the Taboo Subject in Your Family

Portrait Of Young Girl Unhappy Sad Upset — Source: Shutterstock

Most people hate it when insults drag their family. Nevertheless, we’ve got to admit that this line is creative. Another user says, “Your parents change the subject when someone asks about you.”

Your Face Looks Like Something I’d Draw With My Left Hand

Middle Age Hispanic Man Painting On Art Notebook With Pencils — Source: Shutterstock

This is an insult because “They (the person insulting) are right-handed, and anyone who has ever written with the opposite hand knows everything looks like chicken scratch toddler doodles,” explains a poster.

You’re My Ticket to Heaven

Couples Arguing And Fighting — Image Credit: Shutterstock.

“My husband jokingly said I was his ticket to heaven. I’ll admit it took me a minute to figure out he insulted me,” writes a wife. In other words, the husband is a saint to put up with her.

You Have 2 Brain Cells, and They’re Fighting for 3rd Place

Hispanic Pretty Woman Feeling Clueless And Confused Having No Idea — Source: Shutterstock

A user from an online forum added this line while commenting about this creative insult, “You have two brain cells, and they aren’t talking to each other.”

You Are Smarter Than You Look

Portrait Of Handsome Bearded Male With Disgusting Expression Sees Sour — Source: Shutterstock

People use this line to question someone’s intelligence or their looks. Either way, each scenario gets a negative implication. However, people from Australia and the UK consider the line a compliment.

You Look Easy to Draw

Portrait Of Asian Girl Student Hipster Sitting On Stairs With — Source: Shutterstock

This is another way of “calling someone plain or average looking in the best case,” a user points out. Despite this, some artists feel this statement could also be a compliment.

You Are as Sharp as a Marble

Hand Plays With Glass Marbles Reflected On White Surface Isolated — Source: Shutterstock

In other words, you are ignorant or incredibly stupid.

I Don’t Have the Time or Crayons to Explain This to You

Happy Family. Mother And Daughter Together Paint. Adult Woman Helps — Source: Shutterstock

If you are wondering what this insult means, here’s a simple explanation from an online user, “I’d explain this to you, but it would be like trying to teach my cat the concept of time.”