Some people choose to channel their inner chaos when faced with those fateful words, “You’re under arrest.” Others, however, have hilarious comebacks. We have compiled the 13 worse responses we could find. Check out this fantastic spectrum of misguided retorts.
Table of Contents
“No, I Am Under the Influence”
This is more of a humorous response than it is a terrible one. A different user drives the conversation further:
“Any drugs or alcohol?”
“No thanks. I’ve had plenty.”
“Is This the Part Where You Frisk Me? I Always Love That Part”
Others have said, “Be gentle; it’s my first time.”
One user writes, “One time, a buddy and I were arrested and getting fingerprinted. My bud looks up at this giant cop, locks eyes with him, and stammers, ‘I… I’ve never been touched like this by another man…’ That cop turned bright red, and we (along with other cops) started laughing.“
“I Know You Are, but What Am I?”
This is a line from one of The Simpson’s episodes, and some people have used it when getting arrested. And users were quick to answer, “Garbage man,” when this line was added as a worse response.
“No, I’m Dad”
Other people respond to ‘You are under arrest’ with ‘”No, I am dad” or mom, or input their name, for instance, “I am Patrick.“
“Thanks, You Too”
Some civilians have responded “Thanks, you too” to an arresting officer. But one poster says, “Maybe if you are charming enough, this is the best answer.”
“Do You Know Who I Am?”
“If you happen to be a cop, a judge, or work at the DA’s office, this might work,” writes a poster. But it doesn’t if you are an ordinary civilian.
Another variation of this line that most people use is “Do you know who my father (or mother) is?” but it mostly works in Hollywood films.
“For the Coke or the Embezzling?”
Funny that someone would name their mistakes to an officer, asking them to clarify the reason behind their arrest.
One user advises, “Always say the absolute minimum when talking to a cop. They are a solution in search of a problem. They will make one (a problem) if they need to.”
Some will even go further and call the officer “Daddy.” Additional worst responses we collected under this include, “Are the cuffs at least fuzzy?” “Arrest me harder,” “My safe word is pineapple,” and “Arrest me, but make it sexy.”
“Not if I Arrest You First”
After saying this, some people have gone to the extent of attempting to handcuff their arresting officers. But don’t attempt this, as it is a fast way to get charged.
“The Bomb in My Trunk Says Different”
The bomb could mean “they were throwing ass” or have an “insane subwoofer system in the trunk,” but not a real bomb. But according to one user, “This line could work for a moment but then have consequences.”
“Not Today, My Friend”
Some people think they have the option of deciding when they get arrested. So when a cop says they are under arrest, they respond, “Not today, my friend.”
“I Needed Some Rest, Thanks”
Others happily enter the police car during the arrest because they badly need the rest.
And those who’ve been arrested before may ask, “Again?” But some individuals with no arrest records will use this line to toy with the officer’s mind.
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