Raising kids to be good human beings is no walk in the park. And while you may try your hardest to be kind and gentle, tough love is necessary at times. But some parents go overboard and end up traumatizing their kids for life. Don’t do these 12 things that make you a bad parent.
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Using Kids as Therapy
Did you know using kids as therapy is called “emotional incest”? Imagine the emotional damage inflicted on an 8-year-old when his dad tells him he was raped! Or a mom dumping her difficult childhood experience on a 6-year-old! This is terrible parenting at its worst.
Never Saying Sorry
A parent writes, “It is okay to have human emotions and moments to be triggered, lash out, or be wrong. But for the love of all things good, apologize and change.” Unfortunately, bad parents “are allergic to apologizing.”
Sharing Kids’ Shameful Secrets
It is also rude when parents share their kids’ shameful secrets with other adults for no reason. A commentator writes, “My mom weaponized anything I told her. After I stopped giving her ammo, she complained that I never told her anything. Weird!“
Another commentator writes, “Making fun of somebody’s trauma (shameful secrets) is pretty much the tip of the iceberg for abusive behavior.”
Blaming Kids for Their Mistakes and Regrets
One lady writes, “I was molested from age 3-6. I told my parents, but they did nothing. In my twenties, my mother had the audacity to tell me I asked for it. As far as I am concerned, I don’t have a mother anymore.”
Making Kids Feel They Aren’t Good Enough
“Saying things like ‘You are such a disappointment,’ ‘I wish I had a daughter instead,’ ‘You ruined my and your mother’s love life,'” to your child is just wrong.
One mom said, “You are a screwup, and you’ll always be a screwup!” It turns out this is all her son remembers whenever life gets difficult or he feels depressed.
Never Thinking You’re a Bad Parent
“My therapist told me, ‘I can tell you are a good mom because you’re always questioning it and what you could have done better. I’d be worried if you didn’t,'” writes a mom.
Your Child Is Afraid 24/7
If your children are terrified of you or anxious about your presence, this speaks volumes about you and your parenting skills.
Yelling for Trivial Things
“Yelling at a kid is traumatic. There are better ways to communicate than yelling,” advises a commentator. And it is the yelling at trivial things that will have your kids loathing you.
Invalidating Feelings and Struggles
What would you say if your child told you they were bullied at school? “Life’s a bitch, the sooner you realize it, the sooner you’ll get over it?” Well, a mom said this, invalidating his son’s feelings. And as you’ve guessed, she was not a great parent.
Adult Children Won’t Talk to You
You can also tell you were a bad parent if your adult children won’t talk to you or never come to visit after moving out. A poster writes, “When it’s Christmas, and you’re glad you don’t have to see them. When the best gift they can give you is their absence.”
Another sign of bad parenting “is when your children won’t let you see your grandchildren.“
Deflecting Parental Responsibilities
Also, “treating your son as the man of the house because you are single” or “treating your eldest daughter as the stand-in mom” is terrible parenting.
As a parent, you must love your kids wholly, not choose favorites. “It is blatant disrespect,” writes a user.
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