12 Classic Insults That People Should Use Again

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Did you ever get stumped coming up with a comeback during a debate? Resulting to low blows like cursing at your critic is just pathetic. Add these 12 old-school clapbacks to your repertoire for a smarter retort.

It’s Not Much, but You Deserve It

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“Wow, I never realized this was an insult until now,” exclaims a commentator. It turns out, “the insult is a backhanded way to say you are below average.” 

But in a different context, it can mean that “you deserve the effort and sacrifice (even though) I couldn’t give more.”

He Has All the Virtues I Dislike and None of the Vices I Admire

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Online users would love it if Winston Churchill’s quote came back. When translated, it means your vices and virtues do not impress me.

Another popular Winston quote was when he was reprimanded at a party for being drunk and responded, “Madam, I may be drunk, but in the morning, I shall be sober. You, however, shall still be ugly.”

You May Be Slow as Hell, but at Least Everything You Do Is Wrong

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A commentator writes, “I said something similar at a bunch of contractors working with us. “They do crappy work, but at least they don’t do much of it.”

Who Is This Clown

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There are two variations to this old insult. One, you are acting like a clown (stupid), and two, you are not entertaining enough to be a popular clown or a crowd-pleaser. 

You’re Not Pretty Enough to Be That Stupid

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In other words, you are not pretty. And if you were pretty enough, we would overlook your stupidity.  

You’re Not the Dumbest Guy in the Room, but You’d Better Hope He Doesn’t Die

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If you do not get this old insult, it means that there is another dumber person in the room, and were they to die, you instantly become the dumbest guy in the room. 

I’d Be Surprised if You Can Count to 20 With Your Shoes On

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This insult is another way to call you dumb. “It is making fun of someone dumb and insulting them that they need their fingers and toes to count,” points out a poster. 

You Fight Like a Dairy Farmer

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This insult from the computer game: Monkey Island. And numerous online users also mentioned the quote, “You are as repulsive as a monkey in a negligee.”

I’ve Had a Perfectly Wonderful Evening, but This Wasn’t It

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This old insult was by Groucho Marx, who may have used it as a comedy routine line. 

If Your Parents Got Divorced, Would They Still Be Cousins

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You can substitute this insult with, “Were your parents related before they got married?”

Is Your Family Tree a Circle

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Some of the insults online users add to this include, “Your family tree has to be a cactus, it is full of pricks,” “Your family tree is a wreath,” “Your family tree must not have many branches,” and “What does your family tree look like? A stump?”

I’d Agree With You, but Then We Would Both Be Wrong

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Many online users point out that their dads love this insult. “My father is keeping this one alive all by himself,” says one, and another adds, “My dad would argue that this one never went away.”

Source: Reddit
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