How to Gently Tell My Girlfriend I’m Not a Fan of Her Homemade Gifts?

Esther Kamau

August 1, 2023

We often say that it’s the thought that matters when giving presents, but what happens when someone overstuffs your house? David, a boyfriend, is unsure about how to express his disapproval of his girlfriend’s homemade gifts to her.

Table of Contents

His Dilemma

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She keeps gifting him paintings which she spends a lot of time on. Some are beautiful, but he’d rather not keep others. He offers her valuable things like jewelry and body care products and doesn’t know how he should tell her he doesn’t need any more paintings. She spends so much time on them, but he has no more room. He’s worried that she’ll feel like he is unappreciative. Here’s what some online community members had to say about his situation.

Build a Gallery Wall

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Someone states that a gallery spot on one of David’s walls will show his girlfriend that he appreciates her work but doesn’t have enough space for all her pieces. She will see he’s handling too many pieces without David needing to spell it out to her. They highly doubt that she’ll continue gifting her the paintings after that.

Give Her Ideas

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David’s girlfriend may be gifting him paintings because she has no idea what he likes. A forum member asks David whether he’s tried suggesting things he wants or asked his girlfriend about her likes. Things like body care are general gifts for women, and she might be suffering in silence too. David should gently send her ideas and find out if she’s tight on money; that’s why she’s gifting him something she can make.

Create an Amazon Wishlist

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Pretending that you like something for years sucks and is dishonest. A woman shares that she’s been in a similar situation and did not know how to approach it since her partner was always cluelessly excited. So she made an Amazon wishlist and asked him to use it on her birthdays. It worked like a charm, as they didn’t need to have a difficult conversation.

Accept the Situation

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One suggests that David accepts that his girlfriend will always make something for him. Since he’s tired of paintings, he should gift her a wood carving kit. He should get her a potter’s wheel and some clay when he has enough wood carvings.

Talk To Her

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Long-term relationships involve a lot of difficult conversations. A forum member advises David to talk about it with his girlfriend. He doesn’t have to tell her that he hates her paintings; it’s just that he prefers different things. They may fight over it, but that’s how normal and healthy relationships work. This will also help David understand her side.

Look at It From a Different Perspective

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How often do you meet a girl that gifts you paintings she’s done from scratch? An individual indicates that he wouldn’t tell her about the paintings if he were in David’s shoes. David’s girlfriend is doing a nice thing; he should just put up with it as it is unique. He should support her and give her painting suggestions.

David Is Also an Awful Gifter

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Baskets of body wash and jewelry are what you gift someone you know nothing about. According to one, David’s girlfriend is giving him thoughtful gifts infused with creativity. David is giving her generic garbage that he can offer his aunt.

Make Her Something

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Maybe David’s girlfriend is trying to send him a message. Another recommends that David starts making her gifts. It would be sweet and thoughtful, and she will appreciate the effort.

Be Honest and Kind

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Truth doesn’t need to be brutal. A responder expresses that a kind message would read, “I love your art, but I have more than I can display comfortably, and sometimes it’d be nice to get something a little different.” She and her significant other wasted many years trying to guess what the other person would like. Finally, her partner got her fancy clothes, but she was into graphic men’s shirts. He thought she wore them since she couldn’t afford the fancy clothes. After wasting two years, they now list their preferred gifts.

Talk About Love Languages

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Finally, an Internet user proposes making this part of a more extensive conversation on love languages. Ask her if she’s happy with what you’ve been gifting her. David could say, “Hey, how have you been liking your birthday/Christmas gifts? Is there anything you wish you’d see each year instead?” This opens up a healthy conversation that doesn’t focus on the items but on how both give and receive love. What would you do? This thread inspired this post.