Men are not all the same. What one guy likes, another man despises. However, there are a few topics where most men agree. There is a general understanding that as men age, their dislike of certain things increases. Consider yourself to maybe not be a male if you read this list and think to yourself, “Hey, I like those things.” In fact, check your man card when you leave.
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While try-hards like Warren Buffett and Sylvester Stallone refuse to hang it up, most guys look at men working into their 70s and 80s and ask: What’s your malfunction, dude? While some guys genuinely love what they do, the minutiae that comes with 90% of jobs (meetings, emails, accounting, etc.) becomes borderline torturous once you hit a certain age.
Non-sensical TSA screening (That’s not how random works). A tax code that makes the Bible look like light reading. And have you tried opening a business? Good freakin’ luck. The older and wiser men get, the less time they have for the red tape and idiocracy of bureaucracy.
The older we get, the odder it is that a subset of humans cannot utter two words: “My. Bad.” There’s nothing more off-putting than a grown man or woman acting defensively when they’re clearly in the wrong.
4. Max Volume
Isn’t it ironic that the worse a man’s hearing becomes, the less they can stand jarring commercials, concerts, maxed-out car stereos, music blaring in a restaurant, and other audible annoyances? Once you hit your mid-20s, you realize that controlling your remote control, volume knob, and general surroundings is the pinnacle of happiness.
5. Time Wasters
The less time you have left, the more precious it becomes. Where a young man might indulge the door-to-door salesman in the name of decency, an older man has no qualms about dropping an abrupt “not interested” and closing (or even slamming) the door.
With crowds inevitably comes the stupidity and obnoxiousness seemingly coded into human DNA (or, at least, some human DNA). Whether it’s someone quibbling over coupons as a line of people unleashes simultaneous death stares, or Tik Tok-ers unleashing the latest dance craze in the middle of traffic, nothing good can come of a crowd. Wise men know this.
7. Indirect Communicators
If you have something to say, say it. Mature guys don’t have the time or patience for sugar-coating, rambling, meandering, or pontificating. Make it like a pencil and get to the point. The era of fragile feelings has not been kind to guys of a certain generation, who have no problem telling it like it is. If it’s worth saying, it’s worth saying bluntly.
8. Social Media
If you’ve seen one Facebook brawl, you’ve seen them all. Plus, the Instagram models become increasingly less tantalizing as you settle down with a lady of your own, crank out a litter of kids, and learn that you must savor every precious second of alone time. Scrolling social media channels is a young man’s game.
The prospect of one’s mortality begins to sink in once a man starts amassing candles on their birthday cake. Thus, waiting in line is a painful reminder that time is finite, and standing in a queue of strangers is literally the worst use of time. Curbside pickup, food delivery services, and other evolutions in convenience are often worth the money for men with perspective. After all, what price can you put on spending each second fulfillingly?
Hangovers are God’s way of reminding men that they can’t hang anymore. While a young buck might be able to shake a hangover with a three-hour nap and a Gatorade, an older man feels it for multiple days. And they hate every ear-ringing, head-pounding, self-loathing second of it. This thread inspired this post.
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